


alone with the hard feelings

by gayhandshake



Series: when forever was us [2]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Coda, Drabble, Episode Related, Gen, don't call it a break up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-06
Updated: 2017-08-06
Packaged: 2018-12-11 20:20:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11721834
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gayhandshake/pseuds/gayhandshake
Summary: There wasn't a corner of Magnus's loft untouched by Alec's presence.---Magnus made the right decision. He doesn't have to be happy about it.





	alone with the hard feelings

**Author's Note:**

> Technically occurs concurrently with the first fic in series. But if you're going to read both, I recommend going in post order.

There wasn't a corner of Magnus's loft untouched by Alec's presence.

When he gets back, he goes to hang his coat on the rack by the door and finds a leather jacket. He stares for a moment before dropping his coat right on top of it. He passes by the ingredients pantry in the foyer and ignores the box of cheap, bagged breakfast tea nestled between the jars of beetle shells and mermaid scales. He flicks his wrist with unusual jerkiness and the balcony doors snap closed, curtains drawing over the windows swiftly.

_This was the right decision_ , he thinks.

Magnus storms through his living room and banishes a dark t-shirt on the floor behind the couch to the mercifully hidden hamper in the closet.

_This was the right decision for my people_ , he thinks.

He enters the kitchen and finds the mug Alec had used two mornings ago still sitting on the drying rack by the sink. He waves his hand to make the cup disappear to - somewhere, anywhere not here, but instead it explodes, pulverized into a thousand, sand-fine pieces. His hands are shaking as he scoops the pile up and shakes it off into the trash.

_I am responsible not just for my safety, but for the safety of all of New York's warlocks_ , he thinks.

Magnus doesn't even look at the bedroom door when he makes his way to the bar. He drops two ice cubes into a glass and viciously pulls the glass stopper out of the whiskey decanter, pouring three fingers right away. It's strong enough that he can already feel the burn in his nose when he breathes it in, the feeling soothing. He's stopped from taking a drink when he catches sight of the sickly sweet bottle of Grenadine he'd bought when he was trying to figure out what Alec might like to drink. He puts his glass down, tips his head back, and stares at the ceiling for a moment.

_I don't need to drink away my heartbreak. Nothing is broken. This was the right decision _, he thinks.__

____

__He tips his head back down and rests it against the top of the bar. Doesn’t think about all the years he’s put love on the backburner. Doesn’t think about how he or Alec or both of them could die before everything is resolved._ _

____

_Nothing is broken. But God does it hurt like it_ , he thinks and lets himself cry, just a little.

Magnus pulls himself up, sniffing and wiping with one finger underneath his eyes, and pulls out his phone. He needs to be around the people he is trying to protect and not trapped and anxious in this apparent shrine to the love of his life.

_Could I stay with you tonight?_ he sends, hoping it’s not too late for a response.

_Of course._ Catarina responds.

_If you can get here in the next 15 min, Madzie would love for you to tuck her in. Then we can talk about what’s wrong._

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!


End file.
